Monday, September 01, 2008

Blank....

why is it so hard to comprehend even what you are feeling and why you are feeling this way or that way? And I have observed that I don try to dig too much..jus flow with the emotions..Like today..when I was out of office...I felt a void..a blankness in me..a strange kind of feeling which i cudnt fathom..It was something I did not want to think about..so I thought I would have a nice sandwich and head for killing some time at forum..

But then I felt with my mood..everything seemed dull..the sandwich waala made my sandwich the way I did not want it..and I ended up having it as a take away so that I could feed it to a street dog..Dogss..they are so cute..everyday I pass the same street and I see this nice furry stout dog..it din cross my mind that I was going to feed him...But when I passed the place he usually sat lazily..I found myself searching for this man's best friend..Somehow I feel a bonding with every doggie..may it be a pet or on the street..they seem equally loving to me..sigh...someday I will have a pet...And finally I found Mr mottuu..hee hee i jus thought it up now, this name for him, sitting on a nice sack like rug..lazing again..and I lovingly placed the sandwich for it to eat..it looked at me with such compassionate eyes..Well, I have strayed away from the main theme..

Okk..after the sandwich spoiler..anyways I did head for forum..talking to a buddy on the way..so thankfully I wasn't so blank then. Once I did reach forum..I found myself window shopping..cos that is the sole option of killing time there when alone...no there are others..like I could take a book and sit in Landmark..But I did not have that much time and patience at that juncture...Unable to code a certain thing, a certain work was still doing some rounds in my head....somehow I wanted to let go of those thoughts..I did forget the work part..but again I said everything proved that whatever be your mood..is how you would see the things around..Like they say..Laugh and the world laughs with you, Cry and you cry alone..ok ok I wasnt crying...but yes I wasnt feeling all that good..well people in my proximity thankfully contributed nothing to worsen my mood...

With every shop I window shopped and loitered in, I felt every store had some crap that was atrociuosly priced. Brands seemed only namesake..or I think they are..2000 ruppees for a tracks..damn! Nike Reebok..Bullshit!! Only amusing things I could find were in Archies ..a ridiculous soft toy named Funny Bunny..it looked more stupid than funny...Wallets..earrings..watches...oh this material world...Somehow I did not get peace of mind..came to my mind, maybe a bite would help..Went to Mc D after ages..Ordered for this Mc Veggie Burger..in the name of Veggies it had only lettuce :( what the....Thereafter I decided, it was enough killing time and I headed back home...back to my room..still feeling blank....

1 comment:

Niraj said...

May be u tried a little too much dear...u always had a feeling back of the mind that u were feeling blank. Even if u would have been to a rally u still would have felt the same way...it happens with everybody now and then and the wosrt part is, it has no solution!!