The comfort zone of Routine

Most of you, especially people working in the Software/IT industry would fully understand the meaning of Routine or mundaneness or the usual grind of things. The same 5 days of work, 2 days of weekend and while true the loop continues, unless of course you throw an exception ( Pardon me for this piece can only be understood by Java coders mostly)

Mostly people are expressing their unhappiness over the usual routine, how things do not change. But in the real sense, we are more or less slaves to this very routine as in it, we form our comfort zone, a cocoon of familiar things, stuff or work we can do because we have done it countless number of times. After all, Aristotle said "Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.”, said simply yet so profound and true.

Well, you might excel in a particular job because now you have grown accustomed to doing it. Just like you have this habit of brushing your teeth everyday. But doesn't this sort of block out the myriad other stuff you can learn or you can do? Have you experienced a mental block while trying out a new job or task assigned to you?? 

Well, All I am trying to imply is that we need to break out of our comfort zones, out of our time table like lives now and then and dare to try out some novel things, it maybe a new job at office, an adventurous activity on the weekend or even try learning a new language for that matter. 

Its important that we come out of our inertia like state and move on to things we are more capable of, experience newer horizons and opportunities ( Yeah I know what is coming to your mind now, job hunting? :D ) 

Soaking up the new stuff might take time, or maybe even a toll on you. But once you have assimilated the new, it would definitely bring about a change in you, your personality. Some of us might end up feeling more confident and the best of all, it would be a brain exercise, a good activity for the grey cells to live longer.

“You have to risk going too far to discover just how far you can really go.”

T.S. Eliot

PS: This was an endeavor from my side to break out of my inertia of not writing. It had been long and I thought, well this is the thought to write on..Welcome your comments!!

Angry? Let it out, Express!

Well, this post comes after an anger venting session for me. Personally, I know it does not feel too good to be angry or rather remaining angry. That is why I say "Let it out" 

When I am angry, I tend to experience this shakiness and especially when am expressing my anger aggressively. I am sure many of you must have experienced that state. But does that mean we are weak and are not able to endure the anger, the fury? No I guess. Its quite an unexplainable condition though, sometimes anger lead me to tears, at other times like now I feel good, better, stable,sane to have let it out although the moment of anger is quite  negative and self-hurting also. 

But when I was right and the other person wrong, why should I take their crap? Ain't that pure abuse? I mean come on, I should be able to take my stand, defend myself, not stay mute like a cow and endure anything.Some people are sadists, they want to take you for granted, take advantage of your timidness, don't let them please!! Its not altogether a cruel world out there, but you tend to find all kind of species. Me for one have found quite a variety and have not been very happy with my findings :|

Coming back to anger,why should I hold it in when it should be out there. Why should I be suffocating over something thats not worth it. I agree its not always good to let it out. But its unhealthier to let it stay in. Expression is the key. Blurt it out man, its no use keeping it inside you, where its going to live like a parasite and slowly take you in. Suppressed anger or even suppressed plain thoughts can come out in other devastating and perturbing forms like Depression.

And I strongly believe that people who do not accept its their mistake over whatever happened, give it to them their way. Well, Gandhiji said if someone slaps you on one cheek, put forward another cheek. I mean no  disrespect to the Father of the Nation but am sure if he were in our world today (in some avatar :) ) he would agree to the fact that, that formula is long obsolete. I believe in "जैसे को तैसा " और भाई क्यूँ नहीं? और अगर मैंने कुछ गलत किया ही नहीं तो फिर मैं क्यूँ सहूँ?

My father always says "What cannot be cured has to be endured" While there is some truth in it, I do not agree with it in totality. After all I also have a threshold and when I am past my threshold, there will definitely be an outburst. Outburst is good, expression is good. Yes we may tend to say cruel, mindless stuff to others, but hell, I believe in apologizing if I have said something wrong. That doesn't make me any lesser of a good person. Anger to come out in much more controlled way could take a little practice, letting it out is important.

Speak out and you will definitely feel "Aal izz Well" later :D :D And btw you should also watch Anger management :D :D

Don't let the sun go down in anger.

We have an assignment, a destiny and a purpose.

Don't let anything block your sun.

Wake to a new sunrise. 

Angel Cher

Source Credit

 

The Social Networking Brouhaha

Facebook, Orkut, Twitter and now the new Buzz!! Yes social networking is here to stay. It has revolutionized our way of keeping in touch with friends, or letting friends know of an important news in one's life. These sites also help us remember our friends' birthdays, yes everyone is just a scrap or a wall post away. The act of really keeping in touch however has somehow faded with the advent of the Internet. While these sites have ushered in a new era of networking, somewhere in this social networking world, it has also made us too open, too public leading to a loss of our own privacy.

Image Courtesy : http://www.mirkku.com/

What is the first thing you check out or the first site you open when you put your computer/laptop on? Do you login to Facebook/Orkut/Twitter and see if you have a comment on your wall post or if someone has dropped you a scrap or rather what Barkha Dutt whom who are following on twitter has tweeted. Why this urge for staying connected?? Why this frenzy to keep posting updates of whether you are committed or whether you are getting married. Why is our privacy becoming more and more public?? And it is we ourselves committing the sin of self-intrusion of privacy! Sometimes I just find it as a filler in our otherwise usual humdrum of life, at other times its more of a distraction.

While one can say its a blessing owing to the ease of maintaining touch with anyone in this world, nevertheless on the other hand its an incessant addiction to which we have fallen prey.Its like "The Truman where "Truman Burbank lives a happy life. However, what he doesn't know is that his life is actually the focus of a reality TV show aired since his birth, that he's the star, his hometown is a giant set piece, and everyone around him is an actor going by a script." The only difference is here we know and knowingly we keep tweeting or updating our so-called walls with personal updates.

The need to stay connected in this networked high tech world is not hard to comprehend. When the whole world is tweeting, yes even Shashi Tharoor, you do not want to be left behind. You want to know what a famous celebrity is doing at any single minute or hour of the day. We all want some news and gossip in our lives. But hell why post personal/suggestive photos/snaps!! Ridiculous photos like the decorated bride sitting on the bed on our first night, gosh gimme a break :X @###$% I want to request an enhancement in the features when it comes to such photos. The onlooker should be able to change privacy settings so as not to see them :D Google/Picassa/Facebook/Orkut are you listening?? :P

While Facebook and Twitter are some years old, Google entered too late with buzz and had to undergo its share of hiccups in this arena. I personally found Buzz very buzzing (read bugging :D) and was thankful that the off button was provided. Nobody needed too keen an observation to say that Buzz failed to create any buzz. Plus it has security concerns. See here Also the auto-follow feature was a MAJOR glitch "The controversy is around the “auto-follow” feature that automatically links those who you email frequently with in your Gmail account to Buzz. When posting something onto Buzz everyone can see who is following you. Basically this allows strangers to see who you email with frequently." An excerpt I took from here Strangers being allowed to see whom you email frequently! Waaaaa :(

When I searched for Buzz I saw the following buzzes, these speak for themselves
"Officially ditching Google Buzz, so if you are trying to get a hold of me, don't do it there."

"Decided to turn off Google Buzz. I couldn't see any point in it. I have all I need in gmail and google chat." (I totally agree with this one)

However, the scarier part is what I stumbled on http://www.macworld.com/article/146539/2010/02/google_privacy.html?lsrc=twt_rgriff on why the user is going to stop using Google. Also went through some comments here and agreed with some that it was useless hullabaloo considering the fact that "Privacy is dead" in the social networking world. Its more at the user discretion actually.

What is your take on Social Networking? Is it a necessary evil? or Is it overkill?

5 Reasons not to Celebrate Valentine's Day

1) With all the heart shaped balloons and everything, anyone can get fed up. Teddy holding a red heart with an I love you written on it, seriously do you need that???. Heart shaped pillows, heart shaped chocolates, for Gods sake heart shaped lollipops :D Phew!! Can't digest so many hearts around :D Archies and other gift shops must have a gala time, with their sales sky high on this day! 

All these mushy mushy thoughts are so short-lived! Oh yes, we all have gifted our friends some show pieces and other stuff. But now I am more of a believer of gifting useful gifts or accessories :)

2) Love is in the air, in the parks, in the restaurants, even in public places. PDA = Public Display of Affection percentage rises on this particular day which can be very annoying for the non-valentine believers. Oww so many Romeos and Juliets moving around, you would feel like becoming a villian (Sure would make you feel better becoming a Prem Chopra that day :P)

3) Yeah now comes the Red Roses, "bhaiya zara ek red rose dena!" kitne ka hai??? 20 Rs :O :O Double the price, kya bhaiya?? Well, sure is a business day for florists, this V-Day. And what happens to the roses after you gift them. They wilt away :( Poor flowers, as they were meant to serve this purpose only. Reminds me of Pushp ki Abhilasha, the hindi kavita by Makhanlaal Chaturvedi.

4) God forbid if you are in Mumbai, better be alert on the lookout for any hungama from Shiv Sena or MNS. I am pretty scared of them myself :| Bechara SRK!

5) And I would like to end with the reason that one of my friends stated, there can be a day to celebrate Ganesh Pooja but there can be no day to "celebrate love" How true..

I bet you can jot down some more reasons for not celebrating V-day! do you have any?

Her Diary, Her Best Friend

There was a time when Naina felt she needed friends to talk to, to share her innermost feelings with, to confide in, to be able to express her fears or joys. Buddies to whom she could reveal her true self without fearing them to be judgmental or thinking otherwise. She could bare her soul in front of that one person or maybe a couple. Alas, that person never came along..The search was in vain.

Many a times she felt close to someone, but her feelings weren't reciprocated, so that was the end of it. Because, for Naina, reciprocation held a great deal of significance. In this worldly world, she wasn't a selfish or a self-centered person, she could be a selfless friend but only if she was reciprocated. Her definition of reciprocation was that the person she felt close to or the person for whom she could go out of her way to do anything should feel the same for her. But somewhere always, the feeling was missing.

It was true that “Good books, like good friends, are few and chosen; the more select, the more enjoyable.”  

There were times when she felt so lost, so depressed. At such junctures, she found no one who would lend her a ear or who would comfort her and say its okay and that this will pass. Disheartened that she was she found solace in writing. Yes she saw a lot of blogs on the Internet. But what she always wondered was how could some people have online diaries, how could a person be so open so as to write things so personal. On the contrary, she preferred to write in a diary. By diary, I mean a real diary, not an online one.

She bought a nice handmade paper diary, the cover was real attractive and a nice pen to go with it. From now on, she decided, the diary would be her best friend. She wrote in it when she felt sad, she penned down her thoughts when she was elated. She even noted down quotes in her diary which made her feel good. It was the diary was her mute buddy, one who was always there to give her space to write on, she could always take the support of the bare blank empty pages, she felt healed and pacified after having written anything in her dear diary. One who would not expect anything in return, and yet reciprocate. One who wouldn't have any say and yet always be there.


The action of writing on real paper had a magical quality to it, thoughts transformed into words and put down on paper strangely composed the mind.

Naina found it so much easier to befriend a diary, after all making friends was a tough task. Then it was all the more difficult to keep a friendship. And so, she found happiness with her only best friend, her diary, her friend for life.

When Things go Wrong !

That very day it seemed as if everything had to go wrong one by one. And again and again I was reminded of this one line from some poem "When things go wrong as they sometimes will" Strangely I did not remember the rest but I could fathom that the remaining part would imply not to quit :D Here is the poem which I later found on the net. First the background of my anecdote.

Me and Khushi were on a short trip to Coimbatore for Kashish's marriage. Gosh we were completely drained out of energy, firstly coming from Bangalore, the warm climate was a big turn off. Secondly , we ventured out to see some temples and a very famous Isha Yoga center not realizing that it would exhaust us further. However, the warm and genuine people at our friends place made us feel at home leaving no room for any complaints or cribbing. But language was still a problem since in Tamil Nadu state, Hindi is the 3rd language taught in school we came to know. I was quite appalled by this fact. No wonder none of our friends' relatives could speak even a single word in Hindi. We were compelled to communicate to some people in sign language, especially the ones who could not speak English as well.

South Indian weddings are so simple unlike North Indian weddings. We were careful enough not to stand out in the south Indian crowd, hence we took quite sober clothes, not too much dhinchak or cham cham(dazzling) ones. Nevertheless, we did stand out a little bit, the 2 north indian girls amongst a whole silk sari clad south Indian ladies crowd :D Look here look here, look anywhere and you see Silk saris in different varieties and colors. It was quite a sight for us :) Never saw so many colored silk saris in one place.

The engagement and the wedding were the 2 main functions, and so after the wedding ended, me and Khushi set out for the station with the print out of the ticket in our pockets. We were actually very happy to leave as in a very short duration we felt drained out of energy , mainly because of the weather and were eager to get back to the pleasant weather of Bangalore. As soon as we reached the station, with the ticket in hand, I moved towards the enquiry counter to know the platform number on which our train would come. As soon as the railway person checked our ticket, he was quick to respond saying that our train had already left at 1:25 in the morning :O Dumbstruck I turned towards my friend who was secretly praying that it wasn't me to whom the railway person told this. He was actually using a mike so she heard it on loud speaker :D

The look on our faces, totally dumbstruck and blank :D 1:25 am and 13:25 pm the 24 hour format betrayed us with an extremely grave impact. We had no ticket in hand, standing amidst the crowd at Coimbatore station feeling the scorching heat, we started calling our friends. So desperate my friend was, that she was ready to travel in General compartment of a train which was about to arrive shortly on a station. Awed by her unawareness of how a general compartment is, I began to discourage her saying that it would be highly suicidal and uncomfortable to travel in general. Knowing not what to do, and heeding a friends advice, we started towards platform in search of TT in case he could give us a berth. Desperate not seeing the TT, I left my friend with the luggage and went off to enquire for another night train to Bangalore, to see if we could book tickets in that. In the meantime, the train arrived on station and my friend met the TT and he told her to board the train and that he would make some arrangement. Unfortunately at that time, I was at the reservation office and so we missed that train as well :( One mishap followed by another :| 

Thankfully for my friend I did not lose my cool. She was quite level headed and so was I, strangely enough :D And I realized what a contagious effect the 2nd person can have on your personality :) Because Khushi was so composed, I guess I was too. Finally we decided to head back to Kashish's place and told a friend to book bus tickets for the night from Red Bus site. Having found our solution, we celebrated with a cup of coffee each :D and since I needed something to munch on, I bought Tiger biscuits. LOL. And both of us laughed hysterically at our condition while sitting on a bench on the platform. Because of the language problem, we bugged our friend Kashish too, who was with her in-laws at that time :O yes!! but we had no choice but to try and contact her.

Finally her bro came to pick us up at the station, we took print outs of our night bus ticket and waited eagerly for the time to pass. Kashish's college going cousin was sweet enough to give us company. And Kashish's parents and relatives were sweet enough to feed us 2 more meals :D To be frank I was quite bored with the unknown curries , idlis and rice nevertheless eating on a banana leaf had its own charm :)

Photo Credits : Thumbs up to Khushi to suggest taking this photo ;) .and thanks to myself :D for taking it

Once is a wonderfully unique musical

When I saw Once is a musical, memories of Mamma Mia came to my mind. Well, I was in for a pleasant surprise when it wasn't the same. Music wasn't forced into a dramatic setup, rather music fitted quite naturally and beautifully into every scene as the movie was so woven into music. IMDB rating of 8.1 and the Plot as per IMDB : A modern-day musical about a busker and an immigrant and their eventful week in Dublin, as they write, rehearse and record songs that tell their love story.

The busker playing guitar so spontaneously and heartily, the piano girl, so natural again and so cute. They both make such a wonderful music duo. The time when she insists he play in the piano shop and the way she accompanies him is just superb. The way they come up with a band and do the recording. The soundtrack is just so awesome. With no definitive end, the movie retains its uniqueness not giving away its charm.

The movie is about Unrequited love.Yes look that up in the dictionary :) I think whoever said it or not, its right, Music uplifts the soul. There is nothing like music. Music is divine. A wonderful review of the movie here.

Birthdays come and Birthdays go

Imagine when you were a 10 year old :) The big Birthday Cake, the new flowery dress or rather colorful party wear. The tiny tot birthday parties, the joyful brouhaha, the gifts your friends brought, the colorfully hued invitation letters you got to invite them to your party, the return gifts you bought for each one of them who attended your party. The multicolored balloons :) The candies you got to distribute in your class, the whole day felt special. Am I right??

And then we come back to reality some 15-20 years later :D where everything you do is to make you feel its your birthday. For gals its more like a countdown towards the growing years, by this I mean the thirties or the forties :D Well, thankfully for all the Olays and the Garnier Anti aging creams :D Ok, no pun intended there. Alright alright that was just to add some humor. But on a serious note, I did not feel a thing when my birthday was almost a week back. It was the usual mundane day in office ( yes fortunately it was a working day :) ) I kinda feel somewhat sane in a formal milieu like the office. I do not know but it has a nice effect on me and helps me to stay away from disorientation. 

Well, coming back to the Birthday talk, my colleagues were sweet enough to order a nice cake for me,yes and the icing (it was a creamy rose :D) did match my dress color as well. That is a custom we follow in office, which is good since it again gives you a teeny tiny feel of your birthday, its difficult to get that feel on your own. I mean I am not saying Birthdays are not great but I feel as you put on a year each year, they kinda constantly make you feel that the whole concept of Birthdays is overrated. Or is it not?? 

One or two years back, birthdays meant a whole lot of different things to me. I remember and I guess it was some 2 years back that I wanted to do something nice and different on my birthday and I ended up in an NGO office called iVolunteer. I wanted to share my birthday happiness with people whom I could give a little joy with something as little as a birthday cake and some snacks :) It felt good. It was this children home called Makkala Jagriti I do not mean to glorify what I did, just felt good writing about it and more importantly linking to their sites for those of you really interested in volunteering and social service. Just wanted to do this wee bit of online social service :) 

Again switching back to the topic of birthdays, I think friends make a considerable or maybe even remarkable amount of difference. I do not know what or how I would feel on my birthdays without my bunch of friends. Even a bunch is not needed, mine was a trio this time :) My beloved friends(just the two of them) got me a nice gift and a yummy birthday cake :) Cut it after blowing the single candle on it( hee hee candles on cakes should never indicate your age  :D) and with the birthday music playing in the background. I just felt so elated, thanks to both of them. And then the yummy Chinese birthday treat followed followed by a run for the chocolate at the ever famous Corner House. Reminiscing old days and the good times spent together, I wonder is always around food or drinks or coffee, probably because that is when the conversation follows or rather flows into the mood :)

Oh yes and I forgot to mention that Birthdays are also interestingly to put on weight and to intake more calories. Lets rename Birthdays as the "High Calorie Day" :D Kidding, but it is true. 

Birthdays I would define as a day meant to make you feel special, cherished by friends, family with each passing year, may you be 15 or 50. May the charm of birthdays remain the same for all every year!

Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson

While I was searching for some cute cake pictures came across these, they are so cute :) Check them out

Longest Solar Eclipse in 2010 - Matter of Science or Faith

It was a day of Science vs Superstition. A matter of science or faith.The spectacle of the millennium.

What a Godly sight it was, simply divine.I was fortunate enough to observe it for a few minutes, managed to catch hold of the special glasses needed for viewing it from some colleagues in office. Could not observe the diamond ring but that did not reduce its beauty, it was just so awesome. South India was privileged to have been bestowed with proper visibility, me again fortunate to be located in Bangalore. I was elated because as being told in news, the next solar eclipse can be seen only in 3040, more than a 1000 years from now. In this life, I did not miss it :) Hope get to watch in other lifetime as well.

Ok lets come to the debatable part of the eclipse. I was motivated to write this post after viewing a discussion on CNN-IBN which was captioned Superstition vs Faith. Quite an interesting topic!

So many Myths that people do not have any basis to follow

1) Do not go out during Eclipse ( I observed many people taking leave today in office or Working from home :D felt it to be quite absurd, also in Haridwar hundreds of people took a dip in the holy waters, how contradictory)

2) Pregnant ladies should not observe the Eclipse ( No scientific basis)

3) We should not eat or cook during Eclipse because there are harmful rays in the atmosphere when the fact is Eclipse rays are the same as normal sunlight rays :P  ( What about the grains and vegetables in the field exposed to eclipse? No wonder office cafeteria was 90% empty, was quite surprised to see that though. I on the other hand had my lunch :) Could not resist the hunger pangs )

4) Eclipse is inauspicious , so do not make any important decisions today or do not start any good work today ( very debatable, can't say more :D)

Bharat Bhushan, a famous astrologer and also a participant in this discussion rightly quoted that "Astrology was being misinterpreted by half-knowing people". He also said that Blind faith is an individuals' prerogative. Changes like the eclipse mark the change in the dynamics of nature's energy spectra.The kundlis and the zodiac signs predictions that we see are astrological but these very predictions constitute a very insignificant part of the field of Astrology

Eclipse is just a simple geometry in space. People buy lot of things from astrology, predictions. But actually  there is nothing auspicious or inauspicious about an eclipse. An eclipse day is just like any other day, sun cannot be looked at directly on any day just like you need protective glasses to observe an eclipse as well.

“Nations, like stars, are entitled to eclipse. All is well, provided the light returns and the eclipse does not become endless night. Dawn and resurrection are synonymous. The reappearance of the light is the same as the survival of the soul.”  Victor Hugo

My wish for all is that any eclipsing phases in your life pass away soon. Just as the moon can cover the sun only for a certain a amount of time and not obscure it for eternity, so also the darkness in your life not remain forever :)

Pump it Up!

Worried about your health?? Do you despise the growing flab in your body?? Do you want to age slower?? Do you want to keep diseases out of your life and build body immunity and stamina?? Exercise, Exercise and Exercise thats the only answer to all these questions.

Image courtesy

And with growing awareness about health, we have gyms and fitness centers in every nook and corner of the city. In fact each company, especially IT companies boast of gyms these days. With hectic work schedules why go anywhere but office for even a workout. I work in an IT company myself and I try to hit the gym at least 3-4 days a week out of the 5 working days. Its also a welcome break from the work stress and also a great form of relaxation. A state of blankness is what I experience during workout, well I would say thats closer to meditation. You are focusing on your exercise and your mind is not wandering anywhere. After all meditation is focusing on a single task, may it be your breath or the flame of a candle or the second hand of a watch.

And if you are a person who enjoys any kind of music, take that MP3 player you love so much, load it up with high energy, nice feet tapping music and see how you enjoy your workout. Music is such a God-send entity I must say, it can engross you, relax you, make you workout harder.Yes!!! Good beat music and really make you pump it up!! And you end up burning more calories on that cycle, treadmill or elliptical trainer :) Ain't that a blessing? :D Listening to your favorite play list can help you to go up to 20% longer and burn more calories, according to research from West London's Brunel University as indicated here

A more fascinating fact is that solving a Sudoku game for an hour can help you not only boost your brainpower but also burn 90 calories :P Yes its true, true, true!! Look here for the news article. Yeah yeah you still need to do physical exercise :D I just wanted to mention it since it does involve brain exercize which is equally important.

Now you would say "We don't have the time" or "I don't find the motivation to exercise" Its not necessary to hit the gym for physical exercise, there is Yoga, there is the alternative of walking and simple habits like taking the stairs instead of a lift can help you lead an active life. And then in spite of having so many options to be a healthier you, if you still find it difficult, just think, its your health, its your life, either you make it or you break it! Its only and only in your own hands

"The whole idea of motivation is a trap. Forget motivation. Just do it. Exercise, lose weight, test your blood sugar, or whatever. Do it without motivation. And then, guess what? After you start doing the thing, that's when the motivation comes and makes it easy for you to keep on doing it." — John C. Maxwell

 Some good links for getting into shape :)

http://www.abc-of-yoga.com/yogapractice/halfspinaltwist.asp This is a very good site for understanding any yoga posture as it has animations illustrating each step of the posture

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/

This for the ladies especially I believe there is a menshealth site as well. You won't believe the plethora of free resources you get here beginning from a workout to flatten your belly ending at toning your body or a gear free workout

www.livestrong.com

Again a very good one when you want to monitor your portions on your plate. Register here. Goto the My Plate option in the Daily plate and record your calorie intake for each meal each day. Will help you to cut down those calories :)

Please do add any other good links you would like to share!

Feeling lonely?

Suffering from pangs of loneliness??? There was a time when I did not know what to do when I felt lonely. Couple of years from that state of mind, now I know I have transformed the negative loneliness into positive solitude and that is something I cherish so much, its the "me" time I cannot do without any single day. So any day if you feel lonely, your next thought should be to do something you enjoy doing, maybe something that you wanted to learn from a long time, a class of classical music or a driving lesson.Go for a walk all by yourself, go do your chores. Pamper yourself, get a pedicure or a manicure or got get yourself a hep outfit. Now this activity need not necessarily involve spending money :D. For instance, I personally am very content spending time given a good broadband connection and a laptop. 

          

Image courtesy

Now you would say all this is easier said than done. And you would not always have the motivation and drive to get that thing done. After all man is a social animal and you do need social interaction, a group of friends sometime. In that case, call up a friend, catch up with a friend over a cup of coffee, go for a movie..there are so many activities you can do with a friend. Its hard to come out of your shell, but do give yourself a push a day or two.I know I know you may not always also have the drive to call up a friend. That part I myself find very difficult, taking the initiative. 

Another key to driving away loneliness is engaging yourself, preoccupying yourself in an activity you enjoy doing. Now there is an ocean of options when it comes to learning something. Even a Google search on the Internet gives you thousands of results.One of the other things that also helped me to be comfortable in my solitude was the feeling that I cannot always be dependent on any person for anything. This one feeling helped me immensely in becoming independent and instilled a fearlessness, now I do not need any company for anything. I can shop alone, explore alone, do anything alone on this earth.

I discovered a new freedom in myself. A new independence. A new me. And all that came from my "me time".

But let me confess one thing that I still need to overcome. In spite of enjoying time alone, and engaging myself, when the loneliness factor is very strong, I avoid going to crowded places. I have never understood, but I know maybe its human psychology that when you feel lonely, the whole of the world appears to you having some sort of company, you always see couples roaming in your vicinity or a happy group of friends laughing away and your misery is aggravated. May be this can be over come by thinking that its just a phase, a temporary feeling.

Now I am not being preachy here but just sharing my thoughts on something I have experience in-numerous times. Being lonely is no doubt a herculean task but once we start breaking out of the chains of loneliness and the metamorphosis of loneliness into solitude begins, we will be a more happier and sane person and believe it or not we will experience a lot of self-development.

“Language... has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone.” Paul Tillich

Do you have any tips or suggestions that you can share on how to overcome loneliness??


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Competition ,Expectations ~ Death of talent

What type of a world do we live in? Certainly not a non-competitive one. There is a race everywhere, may it be getting your child an admission in the best of schools, getting yourself a promotion or the simplest example of catching yourself a seat in a public transport bus. Its as if life itself implies competition. how saddening.

The race begins from the time you come into the world, get into a good school, pass each standard with good marks, more importantly the boards. Pass out of 12th, rack your brains for an IIT or an equally good REC, pass out an engineer or possibly go into medicine. How time-table like is our human life?? I mean think of it, are we ever encouraged to think out of the box??Are we ever given scope to hone any of our hobbies so much so that we can make it our profession?? After all, textual knowledge is not everything, and certainly it does not bring out the creativity in a person. What ever  I am talking about is very clearly portrayed in the movie 3 Idiots. Yes it might have exaggerated in a few scenes, but the meaning is conveyed. Just like Silencer(the mugger) in the movie, many of us have passed exams without knowing the real meaning of the text we memorized! and what a pity that is! And why do we do all this? out of competition and out of the fear of not fulfilling our parents expectations!

Expectations, the root cause of all suffering. Parents, yes who very much love their children, want their children to be successful in life forget one thing. The fact that the burden of their expectations weighs heavily on a child. It can break a child, Neha an 11 year old girl committed suicide, how shocking is this news. And why?? She was a prodigal dancer but her parents refused to let her participate in a reality show and wanted her to concentrate on her studies, Result?? they lost their child completely, and to think of how gravely the parents decision affected the child that she chose to end her life???

Why isnt the child allowed to hone his/her talent. Why do the parents have to impose on a child?? and most importantly, why are the parents given the right to decide what the child wants to do in life. Just as dyslexic Ishaan in Taaren Zameen Par or Neha in real life are expected to study like a normal child, can't they be allowed to pursue their passions as well? I mean Neha for Gods sake was good in academics as I read here, don't understand why the parents discontinued her dance classes.

Competition to earn livelihood, to outshine others, living upto parents expectations is as good as murdering individual talent in a person. Its time we encouraged our children to do pursue professions which they are really passionate about, or work that they would really enjoy. Its time to stop more Nehas' from committing suicide..

Minimalism

“Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say let your affairs be as one, two, three and not a hundred or a thousand… We are happy in proportion to the things we can do without.” – Henry David Thoreau.

What a great blog. It really inspired me. http://artofmanliness.com/2009/10/11/go-small-or-go-home-in-praise-of-minimalism/

These are the key points that I assimilated from the blog

the following are the principles of living the minimalist life as laid out by Babauta:
Leo’s Principles of Living the Minimalist Life
   
1.  Omit needless things. Notice this doesn’t say to omit everything.  Just needless things.

2.  Identify the essential. What’s most important to you?  What makes you happy?  What will have the highest impact on your life, your career?

3. Make everything count. Whatever you do or keep in your life, make it worthy of keeping.  Make it really count.

4.  Fill your life with joy. Don’t just empty your life.  Put something wonderful in it.

5.  Edit, edit.  Minimalism isn’t an end point.  It’s a constant process of editing, revisiting, editing some more.

I would add the following:

6.  Hold on loosely. Even to your prized possessions.  At the end of the day its relationships, not possessions, that make life worth living.


Well minimalism is going to be one of my utmost resolutions for the New Year..and a good one, that.

Links to other  minimal blogs
http://artofgreatthings.com/2009/10/a-guide-to-self-reliance-minimalism/
http://mnmlist.com

please do add any other blog links you like..

How to use Holiday time to rejuvenate || New Year Resolutions

All of us need a break once in a while to re-energize ourselves, to break out of the mundaneness of everyday life and enjoy some leisure. And this is quite important as a very simple adage goes "All Work and no Play makes Jack a dull boy" unless you are a workaholic :D Well, the key to feeling invigorated is to use the time at hand in an optimum way and to make the most of it in a constructive way.

With the New Year ready to ring in, its the best time to "Ring out the old" and "Ring in the New". Simply speaking, its a time for some New Year Resolutions and resolutions that are not made namesake but ones that can be really kept. Anything and everything is doable only when we try to make small commitments to ourselves, something I have talked about in one of my previous posts "One Step at a Time". And what is a New Year without any novelty or nascence.

These are some New Year Resolutions or alternatively how I want to use my holiday time to re-invent a new me 

Health Well this is going to be a very common resolution for most of us. Now I chose to write health because I would not want to mention weight loss, rather I would like to stress on general fitness. Taking charge of my health is the top of my list now. Well, as part of this resolution, my doable action is "To do at least 30 minutes of physical activity at least 3 times a week" If am not able to hit the gym , I am going to try to compensate that with a 30 minute brisk walk :)

Saving With our high tech lifestyles and the cost of living going up day by day, there is a dire need to save for the benefit of our future. While most of our generation believes in leading a lavish lifestyle, the recent recession has brought us to our senses and has made clear the importance of having a rainy day fund. We should make an effort to save 10% of our take home income every month. Cut down on the unnecessary expenses, impulsive shopping sprees and buy our very own piggy bank. I am not joking, I do have my own piggy bank shaped in the form of a baseball. And when ever I remember to, I put a note or two in it. I have resolved to make minimalism a habit.

Cherish Love To love and being loved, none of them should be taken for granted. Hug a loved one, do something for them to show them that you care. Spend some value time with your parents, gift a nice something to your husband or wife to show that you appreciate them. Small things that count so much in life. Just a little effort for someone you love, to cherish their love.

Smile Start the day with a smile. Think on waking up "Its going to be a good day". Believe it or not it works. Builds up positive energy and even if the day doesn't go well, a smile gives you the strength to handle it, to stand strong in difficult times. After all, it costs nothing to smile.


What are your new year resolutions for 2010?? Do share your interesting thoughts here..I have kept my list short so that I can keep them :) But you are welcome to add yours..

Staying networked.Is it really necessary?

How many of us have this habit of coming home, connecting the laptop to our Internet connection and staying online almost perpetually even if there is no real need or necessity for it. The need to login to Facebook, Orkut and other social networking sites and not to forget the myriad messengers, Gtalk, yahoo etc.

Its almost like an addiction. Yesterday, when I did just the same on reaching home, I found my connection not working and my phone line down. The disappointment I experienced, not to miss that I did feel liberated as well. I mean have you ever tried keeping your mobile phone at home and coming to office without it? The freedom that comes without it is just so incredible. But my dismay soon disappeared because the Airtel people were so quick to fix it. Nevertheless, it made me think to what extent are we a slave to this technology. 

When I asked a friend about it as to what he will do if he goes a day without network, he was quick to respond that he would fill liberated and go enjoy the singing of birds and other beauties of nature.I mean think of it, how robotic we become in front of our laptop screens, just giving away to the clutches of technology. There is a saying that too much of anything is hazardous, so is too much of Technology and Internet.

Many a times I find my mind cluttered because of the many tabs of Mozilla I have opened. I experience a loss of focus and feel disoriented. I am sure most of you experience the same.Hence, my resolve is to spend some time everyday in solitude, away from the mobile phones, the laptops, the INTERNET, the social networking sites, away from the constant urge to keep updating statuses( what purpose do they solve, merely letting the world know what you are doing at any juncture, but whats the real need anyway). In short, this is again leading me to minimalism.For instance, why should I jot down a blog post in the blogger notepad, why not write it in my paper diary first. 

Can you suggest some other examples, where we can break free of technology in our everyday chores?

500 Days of Summer

Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn't.

A fresh breeze, unique, every scene of its original and watchable more than once. Thats what led me to watch it for the 2nd time and looks like I am going to watch it more than 2 times :) Such an adorable movie. Such lively characters, ones you can actually relate with. Summer(Zooey Deschanel), with the 60s hair cut, cute as a button. Tom(Joseph Gordon-Levitt) with the boyish looks and the sweet smiles( the smile that makes the eyes close :P)

Tom is looking for "The One" for him when Summer comes along as an assistant in his office. The greeting card one-liners writer falls for a girl, is totally mesmerized by her only to know that she is not looking for a real relationship. The randomly numbered days spent with Summer and the contrast between each is so awesomely shown, great originality here. How Tom swings from an elated mood to a sulky one when Summer makes it obvious that she is still not looking for a relationship. The small talks with the younger sis(she's his love guru :D), the conversations with mckensie and his other friend are adorable as well. The chemistry of the characters with each other is awesome.

Summer though is shown quite unpredictable. On one hand, she is sharing her darkest of thoughts with Tom and on the other hand, she doesn't feel for him as she should feel for a boyfriend. That part is quite queer.

What I also fail to understand that even after making him miserable, Tom falls again for her when they meet in the train only to have his heart broken again. The movie misleads when Tom and Summers in those scenes are shown so much in love. How they dance at Millie's wedding, so much in love, a made for each other couple. How Tom's "Expectations" do not align with "Reality" when he arrives at the party thrown by Summer is just fantastic. So true, seldom do our expectations align with reality. What impresses me is that this movie is closer to reality and still manages to entertain..

How in the karaoke session, Tom and Summer argue over the definition of Love and if it really exists! And how Summer whos afraid of relationship falls for another guy, just so agreeing with what Tom said "you will know love when you feel it" and how Tom is led to believe that nothing is meant to be, its just pure coincidence, everything that happens and so he moves on with his life..The end though is so Bollywood movie-like :D another gal comes along for him :) Well..A Happy Ending..

Not a love story..But a story about Love..

How not to react to situations and stay calm

Many times in our day-to-day lives, we come across situations which agitate us, which directly impact us and hence, we react to such situations. Humans are emotional, sensitive creatures. When emotions are affected, we humans react, its but human to react. We lash out in anger or frustration because we are not in our emotional equilibrium. We are emotionally disturbed, vulnerable.

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Now none of us are saintly creatures, its natural to react when someone hurts you or speaks offending words. But does reacting or lashing out help or does it make the situation worse?? Do you feel better after venting out your feelings or do you end up feeling miserable?? Does the situation end in a cordial way or does it end in a hostile way??

Let us see how we can handle difficult situations like these which tend to shake us and ruin our pacified self:

-- Monitor your emotions like a watchman Observe yourself like a 3rd person. When someone speaks hurtful words, stirs your emotions, what kind of thoughts come in your mind. What do you experience? hate, disrespect, anger, hurt and see these emotions come and pass through you. Try to analyse yourself as to why you are experiencing these emotions, learn to control and condition yourself to be calm and cool. So that next time when in the same situation, you know how to pacify yourself. Introspection in the very simple of words.

-- Keep your expectation levels low Expectations is the root cause of all unhappiness. When I expect a certain good behaviour from a certain someone, and when I do not see that coming, I feel extremely hurt and offended. Why did I raise my expectations about the other person?? I should keep to my region of influence, why should I try to raise my expectations over something that I do not have control over. As Stephen Covey rightly states in "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", the Habit 1 which is to be proactive."Proactive people focus their efforts on the things over which they have influence, and in the process often expand their area of influence. Reactive people often focus their efforts on areas of concern over which they have no control. Their complaining and negative energy tend to shrink their circle of influence." Words of such profound meaning and so rightly said.

-- Walk Away No its not cowardice, you are just staging a walkout to get away from your negative emotions. Why do people often say "Leave me alone" when they are upset about something. Isolation from the problematic situation or person does help. That does not mean you cut off yourself from him/her. No it does not mean a communication gap. It just means insulating yourself for a short period of time or the time span you need for cooling down from your pent-up emotions.

-- Write a diary Instead of lashing out verbally, instead of saying harsh words which can never be taken back, write! Write your heart out. Writing provides the necessary vent to your lava of emotions. Its a healthy habit, and if you do not want anyone putting hands on your diary, write and dispose of those writings. After all, you yourself would not want to be reminded of how you felt when you wrote a particular angry note in your diary.

-- Meditate Meditation relaxes your body, mind not to mention the various other benefits it has. The simplest form of meditation is 3 step and can be done for 10 minutes or so a) close your eyes and breathe normally b) concentrate on your breathing c) if your mind wanders and some thoughts pass through your mind, just be mindful of them and return back to concentrate on your breathing. Meditation in my opinion is any activity that you do with single-handed attention and focus.

Do you have any other points that you would like to share on how to remain cool and not react. You are more than welcome to share the same.

Yes she is married now..

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Her hennaed hands..mehendi in its true color..

Her clinking bangles..the cream and red chudhe..

Her मंगलसूत्र with the black beads..

Her hair partitioned in the center and with carefully put sindoor...

Her anklets..

Her bichiya..

Her smiling demeanor..

Yes she is married now...

Yes its a new life for her now..

Waiting..

Is too much anticipation right? Does it keep rekindling the fire of your cravings for a particular event to happen? Or does it leave you anxious and negatively excited as to what will happen when finally the much awaited event occurs.Lets see how we can perceive the word "Waiting"

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&& We all are or have been waiting for some event or for some person in our life to turn up. Waiting in turn builds up expectations, and too much expectation is not in the right spirit. I am waiting for my friend to call me and she is waiting for me to call her. Both of us have the expectation that the other will call, thats not right and can lead to ego issues and misunderstandings between people.

&& Waiting can be deemed analogous to procrastinating as well. Am waiting for my friend to arrive so that we can begin studying on a particular topic. This is not right because I in this case am dependent on my friend and I am not taking the initiative to begin studies myself. I am waiting for my manager to call me and assign me a job. I should be proactive enough to go and ask for a task myself if I have nothing on my plate.

&& Yes waiting in the right sense would be to wait for a friend to give him/her support. Lend a hand so that the other doesn't trip over. That waiting would fall under a positive category. But me being the counterpart should not wait for the other to lend a hand, that would be wrong since I would be soaring my expectations for the other. While its easier said than done, keeping your expectations low is very much possible. If I have a petty quarrel with one of my mates, instead of expecting him/her to say sorry, I should analyze my own behavior and go forward and apologize if I am at fault rather than groping for the other persons' mistakes.

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. - Barrack Obama

I also believe in the power of NOW, everything that is, is in the now as I have mentioned in one of my previous posts Life

&& Waiting can also be an another plus. It would mean being patient, I have worked hard but still not got the much awaited promotion. In that case, I am waiting and being more patient. Yes, but it never pays to be over-patient. One needs to raise a voice against any wrong-doing being done to them.

You can't wait for inspiration.
You have to go after it with a club.- Jack London

One might wonder, why the post! My answer would be, my musings about how a particular word can be perceived in multiple ways. And how so many words can be used to describe the context of a single word. 

The ability to express oneself is such a gift which everyone should exercise! Hence, my perceptions..